"Hilarity, Charm and Mayhem Make for a Delightful Anthology"

There are 4 stories in VALENTINES & ROAD TO RUIN, a completely delightful anthology. 3 of the stories will please; but the 4th one is so clever, hilarious and inventive that this anthology earned an automatic spot on my keeper shelf.

Barbara Metztger is an autobuy for me and I have often enjoyed her books for more then one reading; especially the wonderful and imaginative MISS LOCKHARTE'S LETTERS. The 3 stories in VALENTINES were written by Metzger in 1996 and I had completely missed them, so I want to give a big 'thank you' to Signet for republishing this delightful trio and coupling them with Evans's entertaining ROAD TO RUIN.

In Metzger's first story: 'BALD LIES' we meet Maxim, Lord Blanford who has just discovered that he is losing his hair. He is well aware of his receding hairline, but the mention of a bald spot in the back of his head by his valet, is the final straw. Max is finally reduced to wearing a toupee. Which leaves him totally self-conscious and afraid of doing anything strenuous lest it fall off.

Max decides to try out the new hairpiece at a country house party given by one of his best friends, Gordon, Viscount Halbersham. Halbersham thinks his new wife is cheating on him and figures a spot of matchmaking at their country house might wean her away from the whirlwind of the Ton. Lord Frances Podell agrees to come as he quickly needs to find an heiress to wed, since he is in dire financial straits.

Meanwhile, Miss Audrina Rowe a devoted Vicar's daughter and companion to her rich cousin Carinne sees the new bachelors' presence in the neighborhood as a godsend. Audrina hopes to make a match that will rescue Carinne from an arranged marriage to an old lecher. Carinne's odious father is miserly with his purse, but determined to grab a title for his daughter in order to raise his own consequence. Carinne's or Audrina's happiness is of absolutely no concern to him.

Audrina believes that the beautiful and sweet Carinne deserves more then an ancient lecherous Lord. She quickly discovers Frances needs an heiress as he is pockets-to-let and so she sets her sights on Max, as she wants to be sure that Carinne is not married for her money. What follows is a lovely pastiche which has Audrina's efforts defeated at every turn as Carinne and Frances fall in love. But the denouement at the fancy ball is absolutely hilarious and makes Audrina's falling for Max totally believable, his quick selfless actions had me both laughing and loving him.

THE LAST VALENTINE is a short and sweet tale (30 pages) that starts with a misunderstanding and ends with love. An unusual love story, we don't meet the hero until the last few pages, was totally charming. What made the story work was the strong heroine, Martine, the supposed Widow Barrett.

Martine was born to great wealth and a title, but is living in the country under the eagle eye of a watch dog hired by her father to see that Martine gets no enjoyment out of life. Her father is still livid that Martine was ruined when she attempted to elope to Gretna Green at a young age. Her father bought the man off, but was furious when Martine refused to marry the first Peer her father could pay enough to wed 'ruined goods'. Martine has been living in penury and misery for 4 years with seemingly no end in sight when she finds a note on her doorstep.

This sweet tale of misdirection and ultimately love brought both a smile and a tear with it's completely delightful ending. Combining pathos with laughs is a trademark of Metzger and requires great writing skill to pull off.

The third story, LOVE AND TENDERNESS is one of the most hysterically funny stories I have ever read. If you love puns, word plays and being in on an inside joke, I believe you too will be holding your sides as you read this story.

LOVE AND TENDERNESS opens on Senta Morville's wedding night when she glances over her handsome groom's shoulder and discovers a ghost watching them. Her subsequent screams send her groom from the room assuming that his new bride is terrified of him. Senta converses with the ghost who is clad in a cloth-of-gold suit, wide belt, high boots, lots of diamonds and speaks with a strange accent. He also has twitchy legs and a curling lip!

Unfortunately, the ghost does not know who he was in life, but does remember he was a legend. When Senta inquires if he could have been "a knight"; he replies "not even a Pip." As the puzzled Senta probes further by asking if perhaps he was a King of England? The newly named Sir Parcifal's reply makes it clear, we are in for an e-ticket ride of hilarity. As our ghoul looks for "the hotel on Olney Street" and addresses empty armor asking "are you lonesome too, knight?" I was literally falling off the bed laughing.

But what takes this story from the merely funny to the truly memorable is the detailed plot and well drawn characters. For all of it's hilarity, the story wouldn't have worked without the wonderful characters who have depth, integrity and charm.

The plot revolves around the attempted blackmail of Lord Maitland over the supposed treason and subsequent suicide of his younger brother. Lee is a charming hero, but it is Senta who carries much of the story and she is a strong and appealing heroine. Senta will go to any lengths to help her husband Lee. The supporting characters are equally well drawn and it is the well delineated characters that turn this story from an amusing romp to a truly hilarious work of art.

Fans of Sandra Hill or Lyndsay Sands are sure to love this story and I believe LOVE AND TENDERNESS is worth the price of the book. Also, the ending to this tale is absolutely priceless.

The tenor of the anthology turns from hilarity to a more conventional 'road' romance in THE ROAD TO RUIN by Margaret Evans Porter. Due to treachery and a duel that ends in death for one of the participants, Dominic, Baron Blythe is forced to go on the run. At an Inn he encounters the strong-willed Nerissa Newby, who is fleeing a scandal and an unwanted marriage by going to the country to visit her one friend in the world. The couple meets at a posting house where they agree to share the one available chaise.

To protect 'Nick' from a Bow Street Runner at their first stop, Nerissa agrees to pretend to be his wife. She figures her reputation is in tatters already; as the townspeople think she bore a baby out of wedlock and then jilted her fiancee, so a little more scandal can't do much harm. Due to misunderstanding a conversation he overheard; Nick thinks Nerissa is a fallen woman with a bastard child, who would make a great mistress while he is on the run. Nick could have been a totally unlikable character, but he unfailingly treats Nerissa with kindness and respect even though he thinks her unworthy of being his wife as a Peer needs an unsullied virgin; which makes him a totally enjoyable hero.

As this couple hides out on a farm in far Northern England, they come to know and value each other--even though they are both laboring under false notions about the other's true identity. Normally I do not like stories that hinge on misunderstandings, but Porter's characters are so well drawn and likable that I was completely won over. Also, when the truth is revealed they do not run from each other forcing the reader to endure the completely trite and oft used 'long separation.' that many readers (including me) abhor. They face each other and discuss what each thought and then work together to get Nick released from the charge of murder. ROAD TO RUIN is replete with characters I would like to see again and I can only hope that we will subsequently see the stories of Nick's loyal, charming and helpful friends-- especially Damon who seems much too cynical for his years.

VALENTINES & ROAD TO RUIN compose a rare anthology where all of the stories were delightful and one was a shining star of glee.

Reviewed by Linda Hurst
Posted May 2, 2004

A special release containing three short stories by Barbara Metzger and a novel by Margaret Evans Porter. In BALD LIES, a matchmaking minx aims cupid's arrow at another couple. In THE LAST VALENTINE, unlucky Martine assumes the love notes left at her door cannot be for her. And in LOVE AND TENDERNESS, a ghost parts and reconciles a honeymoon couple. "The perfect gift for Regency and historical fans alike." Literary Times.

ROAD TO RUIN is the award-winning tale of runaway Nerissa Newby, who joins forces with Lord Blythe, a notorious fugitive, only to discover she's in danger of losing her reputation...along with her heart. "Worthy of the genre's highest accolades...A highly rewarding reading experience." Romantic Times

Summary

Bald Lies
by Barbara Metzger
Matchmaking minx Audrina is aiming Cupid's arrow at Lord Blanford and her beautiful cousin. Little does she know, however, that Lord Blanford is blind to all but her...

The Last Valentine
by Barbara Metzger
Unlucky Martine assumes that the love-notes left at her door cannot be for her. Who could the sender be? Only Cupid knows—as mischief marks the countdown to Valentine's Day...

Love and Tenderness
by Barbara Metzger
After seeing a ghost on her wedding night, Senta sent her groom running. And reconciling these two newlyweds is no easy task—even for a handsome, oddly-dressed apparition...

Road to Ruin
by Margaret Evans Porter Young Nerissa is in danger of losing more than her good name to the notorious Baron Dominic Blythe—she's also at risk of losing her heart...